How to deal with a jealous man - ARTICLE

When your partner is over jealous and too possessive, it kills your life force and inner freedom.

In fact, it destroys not only your life. It destroys your relationship as well.

His emotional reaction is an uncontrolled instinctual response.

Part of him justifies it.

It is part of his mind set to believe he does the right thing.

This is a battle between two will powers.

It is yours against his. He tries to control you. He tries to limit you.

The question is: Do you deserve it?

If you do, he is simply protecting your relationship.

If you want him to stop being jealous show him he can trust you at 100%.

On the other hand if he is simply obsessively jealous without reason, this is a fight between two powers: yours and his.

It is battle for control.

The alternative is always: “fight or leave”.

In fact the dealing with a jealous partner scenario requires a whole new e-book.

We can only oversee it here without going too much in depth.

If you are in such situation, what you can do is truly assess the situation:

  • You can fight for your basic rights: freedom and space

or

  • You can leave (if it’s a lost battle)

The way to fight is to educate him about your needs and how his jealousy makes you feel.

Couple coaching or counselling is an effective source of support as well.

If you want to work it out, the idea is to join forces and overcome the challenge together.

Don’t confront each other.

Create a win-win relationship.

You both want the same, right?

You want harmony, love and trust to prevail.

The real battle is about the couple’s victory.

Dialogue is a good place to start.

Next step: get professional help with this challenge.

Trust, confidence and complicity are your targets.

These are the qualities you want to develop in the core of your relationship.

It is okay to miss a couple of skills when starting with a new relationship.

It is okay as long as you both want to do something about it.

Use your will power and determination to make it work.

Trust your instinct though: If the situation is too draining for you and you see he won't change, you might have no other choice but to leave.

Whatever your choice, you always need extra power to break though.

You want to empower your life and your relationship.

Do what it takes to make it evolve.

Get your needs met.

You are worth it!

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When to give up?

If your partner is obsessively jealous and possessive, the question is:

Should you stay or should you go?

You have been living with a control freak for 2 years.

He makes your life a hell.

He spies on you and gets jealous about anything.

The problem? You do love him.

It is a battle between two forces: when is the moment to actually give up and simply leave.

His jealousy is like an addiction. He uses his “weapons” to destroy what he cares for the most.

If you already tried therapy, counselling or coaching.

If you did everything you could to communicate or help him shift his behaviour and it does not work, you might be close to reaching a saturation point.

The more you wait, the more disempowered you feel.

The best with situations like these is to listen to early warnings.

However, if things already went too far, it is time to seriously consider your options and not let emotional abuse ruin your life.

Defend yourself.

No one has the right to limit your existence.

If you give love to someone, it is love you should get in return.

If it is an irrational controlling response you get from him, this drains your energy and destroys your life.

How to take off if you have to? Take small steps.

Prepare yourself.

Alarm people around you.

Find out about your rights. Speak with a lawyer.

Tell your friends and family.

In other words, get as much support as you can.

Breaking up takes courage and power.

It is always a challenge because you start a new life.

It can feel unstable for a while.

You need to rebuild a material base.

The second challenge is rebuilding your emotional and personal foundation.

This last step is about getting your full power back.

Stepping out of an abusive situation is an empowering step.

It is a claim for freedom and independence.

It is one of your most basic human rights.

You are not a victim.

The moment you bring an abusive or oppressive situation to an end, you become a winner.

If it’s time, go for it.

You are worth it.