He faces a midlife crisis - How to protect yourself - ARTICLE

The goal is simple: create a new set of boundaries.

You want to stay master of your time frame, actions, thoughts, beliefs, emotions and personal space.

If you have children, you want to make sure as well that his crisis does not impact on the harmony and the depth of your connection with them.

He still is responsible at 50% for their education and well being. This means that you can’t control what he tells them or how he relates to them.

Trust him with that unless he crosses the line.

If he needs the space and wants to take distance for a while, you are under no obligation to take full responsibility for your children.

However, if you feel the shared parenting does not work for a while, you can of course establish new ground rules and take more responsibility on you if you both want it and agree with it.

Unless you talk about it, the normal parenting agreement is 50/50. He has to do his part, even if he faces a crisis.

The next step is to protect your house and personal space.

The place you live in needs a healthy sense of peace and harmony.

Your right is to protect this harmony within your personal space.

Same goes for your finances.

If you see him overtaken by wild spending behaviors, you can create separate accounts for instance so that your financial security and independence is not threatened.

Protecting your territory is always a battle.

This means that you might need to fight to establish that.

However, it is your right.

You are given the right to have control over your life and no one can take this away from you.

You stay the boss of your ship and you sail in whatever direction feels suitable for you.

If you notice that his choices send him to the cliffs of bankruptcy or anything else along that line, do whatever it takes to keep your life in the direction you want it to go, simply without him.

When you do this, you act as an individual rather than a couple.

This decision (for instance separate accounts) might be needed as well for your children’s well being.

Once you secure your personal space, make sure as well that you keep your career, business or profession on track.

Don’t talk about these problems at work.

Find a forum online or get a couple of coaching sessions to share your story and get targeted help if you need to.

Keep professional and personal issues separate.

Don’t mix them!

If you mix them, you’ll let his crisis impact even on your professional performance and the way you relate with colleagues or your business.

Keep your career on track! This is essential.