The obsessive trap - ARTICLE

Love can become obsessive.

Passion has two sides to it.

One side is a thrilling experience. It brings joy, pleasure and excitement.

Another side is painful and draining. It can consume your being and destroy your life.

The term passion comes from the ancient Greek "patir" which means suffering.

This means that etymologically, suffering an passion are one and same thing.

Of course, the modern expression of passion takes another meaning. When you talk about a passionate lover, you mean someone who is fully engaged into their dream and desire. It is a positive expression in that case.

When your love is obsessive, you suffer. You don't want to suffer. You want to be emotionally free.

Why can your love become obsessive? It becomes obsessive when you don't reach your goals.

If you love a man who does not love you back and you keep on pursuing him, two things can happen: You either break through or you burn yourself.

The art of dating has a lot to do with playing with your desire.

You need to learn when to insist and when to give up. Sometimes, it is a lost battle. If for instance, you keep pursuing someone who is way out of you league, and does not respond no matter what, you'll alienate yourself if you try to force destiny.

It's not just about you. It is about him as well. This man has the power of self determination. This is a birth right. It is a human right. His will power has as much "weight" as yours. However, he was given the right to decide for himself. This is why, sometimes, you can't break through no matter how hard you try.

The goal is to work with the forces of human nature rather than against them.

You need to be awake and know when it is time to give up.

How do you give up? You disinvest. You let go. You get back your full emotional freedom. You get back your full power.

You need to stay master of your desire, not its slave.